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当前位置:推荐十大正规网赌网站 > 雅思频道 > 雅思写作 > 雅思写作:3分钟学会一个雅思7分句(第81期)

雅思写作:3分钟学会一个雅思7分句(第81期)

发布时(shi)间:2021-03-26 关键词(ci):雅思写作

摘要: Today, many tasks at home or work have been done by robots. Is this a positive or negative development?

    Today, many tasks at home or work have been done by robots. Is this a positive or negative development?

雅思写作

  应对(dui)上面这个(ge)题目,学生(sheng)在让步论述中(zhong)写了这样几个(ge)句子:

  Admittedly, the development of robots can bring negative influence. Many people might confront serious problems such as unemployment. There is no denying that if more and more work are done by robots, the demand for human labor will drop quickly, which may bring lots of social problems.

  教师修改后如下:

  Admittedly, the widespread application of robots may cause some repercussions. To begin with, many people might be confronted with unemployment, since various occupations such as cashier and server in the restaurant can be easily replaced by robots, which consequently triggers a series of social problems.

  Ø 学生整(zheng)体(ti)意(yi)群信息还是(shi)比较(jiao)完整(zheng)的(de),回应的(de)观点(dian)也(ye)比较(jiao)到位,但主要问题(ti)是(shi)句间的(de)逻(luo)辑点(dian)过于碎片化了,尽量(liang)能(neng)够(gou)做到信息点(dian)的(de)整(zheng)合。按照总→分的(de)结构(gou)行文。To begin with虽然表达简单,但是(shi)却是(shi)逻(luo)辑的(de)“粘合剂”。

  * 另外(wai)第(di)三句的(de)there is no denying… 和(he)前(qian)(qian)一(yi)(yi)句可(ke)(ke)作合(he)并(bing),后面的(de)demand for human labor 和(he)前(qian)(qian)面的(de)unemployment 意思基本一(yi)(yi)样,因(yin)此可(ke)(ke)以合(he)并(bing),将这里(li)的(de)句子写成(cheng)原因(yin)状语since various occupations…

  * 另外主题(ti)句将(jiang)can替(ti)换(huan)成may,表示(shi)的是一种让步(bu)。

  Ø 词汇(hui)上的选用注(zhu)意(yi)灵活一些(xie):

  * 机器(qi)人(ren)毕竟是人(ren)去使用(yong),所以application相较于“万金油”的(de)development 更加(jia)精(jing)确;

  * negative influence可替换repercussions;

  * confront被(bei)动用法(fa)表示(shi)“使面(mian)临(lin)”,而主动 sb. confronts sth. 表示(shi)一种积(ji)极的含义“勇于面(mian)对(dui)”;

  * lots of social problems中lots of比较口(kou)语化,可以(yi)改成一系(xi)列a series of。

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